"So, how blessed are you?"

TEN REASONS YOU ARE RICH:

1. You didn't go to sleep hungry last night.

2. You can read.

3. You had a choice of what clothes to wear this morning.

4. You hardly broke a sweat today.

5. You didn't spend a minute in fear.

6. You have access to clean drinking water.

7. You have access to medical care.

8. You have access to the Internet.

9. You have the right to vote.

10. You didn't go to sleep outside last night.

As a lot of you know, every time I pray the traditional prayer before a meal, I add in "God bless the cooks and those that go without" at the end. Well today, I met some of those people. I had the opportunity to volunteer at a community kitchen in down town Houston, called Loaved and Fishes (Matt. 14:13-21). Myself, my sister, and a few neighbors took showers this morning, picked our outfits from a closet full of clothes, and drove down town to serve people who consider themselves blessed just to have woken up alive and unharmed this morning. We got to participate in mass with them before lunch, and that really opened my eyes. When we said "I confess to Almighty God, and to you, my brothers and sisters..." I looked around and realized that these people, too, are my brothers and sisters in Christ. I know the Body of Christ includes everyone, but I had never been in a situation where I really saw a lot of variety in the type of people sitting at mass together. There were several people who didn't know the words to the prayers or couldn't read the missal, but they were still there. When it came time for the Our Father, every single person in the room grabbed someone else's hand; it was beautiful. It didn't matter that some of these people were clean and others hadn't showered in days, or that some had manicured hands while others had dry skin and cuts. At the sign of peace, everyone was shaking hands, wishing each other the best. And after Holy Communion, EVERYONE was praying. I spent a lot of this time observing the people around me. The room we were in had about 8 picnic tables with benches on both sides, and 20ish chairs in the center. There were quite a few people in there, sitting, standing, and sleeping. But everyone was praying. I thought about how strong my faith would be, if I had nothing like these people did. It could go one of two ways: I would either be mad at God for my circumstances and wouldn't have a faith life at all, or I would be close to God because that would be the only constant in my life. I would like to hope it would be the second. These people didn't know where they would sleep tonight, but they knew that God was there for them. That was amazing.

After mass, we had lunch. Those that attended mass were served first, before the doors were opened for more people to come in from outside. We were serving them chili cheese hotdogs, rice and beans, and cake. It was actually a pretty good meal. When all of the people had gone back outside (into the 95 degree heat), we were sitting down eating and the man who runs the place, Billy, came and sat by us. He talked for a little bit, and then looked at my sister and I and asked, "So, how blessed are you?" My sister responded "very" and I couldn't even get a word out. I just started thinking. At first, I thought about the last meal I ate in a cafeteria line like the one we had just served, which was probably in middle school. Then I thought about the food that I was served at school, and at home, like what I had for breakfast. The fact that I had a choice in what I got to eat was huge, realizing that these people didn't. What if they were allergic? What if they just didn't like it? I started to think that that probably didn't matter very much to them, that they were grateful for whatever they were given. I wish I could be more like that. I take so many things that I have for granted; I complain about being hungry more than once a day, but I have really never even been close to starving. I complain about having nothing to wear, when my closet is literally overflowing with clothes. I feel that I have too much. I have been meaning to clean out my closet and take the stuff over to BCAM, but I think I might just take it back to Loaves & Fishes next Sunday and give it to the people myself. These people's spirits were more optimistic than mine are sometimes, these people who have nothing. I guess they figure the only place they can go now is up, since they're already at the bottom.

I wish I could say that I'll never again complain of hunger or discomfort or tough times, but I know that's not true. I already told my mom tonight that I was hungry and wanted dinner. But these people will ALWAYS be in my prayers. I'm trying to think of more concrete ways to help them, too. I know I can't reach out to every single poor person. I often think about that when I watch movies like the Blind Side. If everyone got a chance like Michael Ohr, how different would the world be? While I can't adopt them or pay for them to go to college, I want to find a way to feed them, cloth them, and get to know them. They are people, too. Christ loves them, and I want to learn to love them, too.

"Then the king will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me.' Then the righteous will answer him and say, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? When did we see you ill or in prison, and visit you?' And the king will say to them in reply, 'Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.' "

-Matthew 25:34-40

TIME

Lately I've been bombarded with songs, Bible verses, conversations, and TV shows that all have to do with time.

"time is all you have"

"your time is almost up"

"time is money"

"I just need more time"

The thing is, we don't control time. We don't know how much time we have left on this earth, only God knows. God is TIMELESS. That means that He doesn't comply with the same time line that we make for ourselves. I may say I want to be married in a year. If that is in God's plan for me, I might be married in a year (not that that's a true wish of mine). But what's more important to God is me being ready for marriage, and for my future spouse to be ready as well. Only then will we be introduced and take the necessary steps to get to the point of marriage.

I am not a very patient person. Sometimes (okay, several times) I get frustrated when things don't happen the way I want them to, or exactly when I want them to. God knows what's best for me, and He is working in His own way to mold me into the person He has created me to be. I pray that He helps me be more patient, more understanding, less jealous, less judgemental; I want other people to be able to see HIM in me, for them to know that I am doing HIS work, spreading HIS love. That is what I'm striving for. And by striving, I mean I'm taking baby steps. I feel like my mindset has become "when I get older, I want to be like that." What I'm beginning to realize is that i am older now. There is no time like the present to start doing the things I want to do, to start changing my actions and lifestyle to better portray the things I want it to. Some of the song lyrics I've heard are these:

"My best friend gave me the best advice

He said each day's a gift and not a given right

Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind

And try to take the path less traveled by

That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day

and tomorrow was too late

Could you say goodbye to yesterday?

Would you live each moment like your last?

Leave old pictures in the past,

donate every dime you have?

If today was your last day

...

If today was your last day

Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?

You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars

Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes

cause you can't rewind a moment in this life

Let nothing stand in your way

Cause the hands of time are never on your side"

-if today was your last day, nickelback

"I asked him when it sank in, that this might really be the real end

how's it hit ya when you get that kind of news?

Man what did you do?

He said

I went skydiving

I went Rocky Mountain climbing

I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu

And I loved deeper

And I spoke sweeter

And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying

And he said some day I hope you get the chance

To live like you were dyin'

He said I was finally the husband, that most the time I wasn't

And I became a friend, a frind would like to have

And all of a sudden goin' fishin, wasn't such an imposition

And I went three times that year I lost my dad

Well I finally read the good book, and I took a good long hard look

At what I'd do if I could do it all again"

-live like you were dying, tim mcgraw

"Our hearts are hungry for food that won't come

And we could make a feast from these crumbs

And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun

So if your life flashed before you, what do you wish you would've done?

Yeah we gotta start lookin' at the hands of the time we've been given

if this is all we got, then we gotta start thinkin'

if every second counts on a clock that's tickin'

gotta live like we're dying

We only got 86 400 seconds in a day to

turn it all around or throw it all away

we gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we've got the chance to say

gotta live like we're dying"

- live like we're dying, kris allen

I don't know about you, but lyrics like that really make me think about the way I've been living my life. I say goodbye to people every time I leave a room, because I never know when/if I'll see them again. I push myself to do certain things as soon as possible, because I may not have time to do it later. But what about my prayer life? I seem to be doing the opposite. I think "oh, I can pray after I watch this show" and then I forget, or "I'll pray before I go to bed" and sometimes I just fall asleep. I've been told a million times that I need to be careful of my words and actions, because that may be people's last impressions of me. I don't know why that's just now sinking in. Hopefully I will start procrastinating less and being more effecient with my time.

Now off to clean my room, which I have been meaning to do for about a week now...

p.s. sorry this seems so long. I've got lots of thoughts going around in my head right now. I think I shall try to start blogging more often, esp some old journal reflections that I think should be shared. Peace & Prayers to all! :)

Here I Am...

I've succumbed to peer pressure once again. The same two friends who made me get a Twitter account have now got me interetested in blogging.

We'll see how it goes.

I'm mainly starting this because I'll be working at camp this summer, and that experience is sure to be worth writing about and sharing. I can't wait to see what God has in store for me, the people I'm staffing with, and the hundreds of campers who will experience Christ. I can only hope to be one way they experience His love and generosity in their lives. One of the greatest desires of my heart is to make sure everyone knows they are loved. Whether they acknowledge it, reject it, or are indifferent, I don't want to have to say that I didn't try to show them. In the way I talk, act, and think, I am consciously aware of how others are perceiving me. I am trying to my hardest to live in such a way that the Love of God shines through me. I know I'm far from succeeding at this goal, but it's what I'm working towards.

God is doing some big things in me and through me. This blog will be my attempt at sharing those experiences with anyone who cares to read about them. Hopefully I won't be too boring.

It is now time for me to go experience Love in the purest form, the precious gift of the Eucharist. See y'all there.

Peace & Prayers,

Nemo